RENT by Jonathan Larson (The audience enters in the theatre to discover a stage bare of curtains. At stage left looms a metal sculpture intended to represent: [a] a totem pole/Christmas tree that stands in an abandoned lot, [b] a wood burning stove with a snaky chimney that is at the center of MARK and ROGER's loft apartment, and [c] in Act II, a church steeple. On stage the five-musician band performs under a wooden platform surrounded by railing. The wooden platform has a staircase on the upstage side. Downstage left is a black, waist-high rail fence. Once the audience is in the theatre, CREW and BAND MEMBERS move about informally onstage in preparation for Act I). ROGER DAVIS, carrying an electric guitar, enters upstage left and crosses to a guitar amp sitting on a chair at center stage. He casually plugs his guitar into the amp and adjusts levels, then crosses downstage and sits on the table. After a few chords, the COMPANY, led by MARK COHEN, enters from all directions and fills the stage. MARK sets up a small tripod and a 16mm movie camera downstage center, aimed upstage. He addresses the audience.) "INTRO" MARK We begin on Christmas Eve with me, Mark, and my roommate, Roger. We live in an industrial loft on the corner of 11th street and Avenue B, the top floor of what was once a music publishing factory. Old rock 'n' roll posters hang on the walls. They have Roger's picture advertising gigs at CBGB's and the Pyramid Club. We have an illegal wood burning stove; its exhaust pipe crawls up to a skylight. All of our electrical appliances are plugged into one thick extension cord which snakes its way out a window. Outside, a small tent city has sprung up in the lot next to our building. Inside, we are freezing because we have no heat. (He turns the camera to ROGER) Smile! "TUNE UP #1" MARK December 24th, Nine PM Eastern Standard Time From here on in I shoot without a script See if anything comes of it Instead of my old shit First shot -- Roger Tuning the Fender guitar He hasn't played in a year ROGER This won't tune MARK So we hear He's just coming back From half a year of withdrawal ROGER Are you talking to me? MARK Not at all Are you ready? Hold that focus -- steady Tell the folks at home what you're doing Roger ... ROGER I'm writing one great song -- MARK The phone rings. ROGER Saved! MARK We screen Zoom in on the answering machine! (An actor places a telephone on a chair and we see MARK'S MOM in a special light.) "VOICE MAIL #1" ROGER & MARK'S OUTGOING MESSAGE "Speak" ... ("Beeeep!") MOM That was a very loud beep I don't even know if this is working Mark -- Mark -- are you there Are you screening your calls -- It's mom We wanted to call and say we love you And we'll miss you tomorrow Cindy and the kids are here -- send their love Oh, I hope you like the hot plate Just don't leave it on, dear When you leave the house Oh, and Mark We're sorry to hear that Maureen dumped you I say c'est la vie So let her be a lesbian... There are other fishies in the sea ... Love Mom! (Lights fade on MOM and answering machine.) "TUNE UP #2" MARK Tell the folks at home what you're doing Roger ROGER I'm writing one great song MARK The phone rings ROGER Yesss! MARK We screen ROGER & MARK'S ANSWERING MACHINE "Speak" ... ("Beeeep!") (Lights fade up on the street: the front-door area of MARK and ROGER's building. Nearby is a battered public pay phone. TOM COLLINS stands at the phone.) COLLINS "Chestnuts roasting -" ROGER & MARK (as MARK picks up the phone) Collins! COLLINS I'm downstairs MARK Hey! COLLINS Roger picked up the phone? MARK No, it's me COLLINS Throw down the key (MARK pulls out a small leather pouch and drops it off the apron downstage center as if from a window; a weighted leather pouch plops down from "upstairs." COLLINS catches it.) MARK A wild night is now pre-ordained (Two THUGS appear from above, with clubs. They are obviously close to attacking COLLINS, who says back into the phone...) COLLINS I may be detained (THUGS mime beating and kicking COLLINS, who falls to the ground as lights on him fade) MARK What does he mean...? (Phone rings again) What do you mean "detained"? (Lights come up on BENNY, who's on a cellular phone.) BENNY Ho ho ho MARK & ROGER Benny! Shit BENNY Dudes, I'm on my way MARK & ROGER Great! Fuck BENNY I need the rent MARK What rent? BENNY This past year's rent which I let slide MARK Let slide? You said we were 'golden' ROGER When you bought the building MARK When we were roommates ROGER Remember - you lived here!? BENNY How could I forget? You, me, Collins and Maureen How is the drama queen? MARK She's performing tonight BENNY I know Still her production manager? MARK Two days ago I was bumped BENNY You still dating her? MARK Last month I was dumped ROGER She's in love BENNY She's got a new man? MARK Well -- no BENNY What's his name? BOTH Joanne BENNY Rent, my amigos, is due Or I will have to evict you Be there in a few (ROGER defiantly picks out Musetta's theme from Puccini's La Boheme on the electric guitar. The fuse blows on the amp) MARK The power blows "RENT" (The COMPANY bursts into a flurry of movemen. Then everyone except MARK and ROGER freezes in a group upstage) MARK How do you document real life When real life is getting more Like fiction each day Headlines -- bread-lines Blow my mind And now this deadline "Eviction -- or pay" Rent! ROGER How do you write a song When the chords sound wrong Though they once sounded right and rare When the notes are sour Where is the power You once had to ignite the air MARK And we're hungry and frozen ROGER Some life that we've chosen TOGETHER How we gonna pay How we gonna pay How we gonna pay Last year's rent MARK We light candles ROGER How do you start a fire When there's nothing to burn And it feels like something's stuck in your flue MARK How can you generate heat When you can't feel your feet BOTH And they're turning blue! MARK You light up a mean blaze (ROGER grabs one of his own posters) ROGER With posters- (MARK grabs old manuscripts) MARK And screenplays ROGER & MARK How we gonna pay How we gonna pay How we gonna pay Last year's rent (Lights go down on the loft and go up on JOANNE JEFFERSON, who's at the pay phone) JOANNE (On phone) Don't screen, Maureen It's me -- Joanne Your substitute production manager Hey hey hey! (Did you eat?) Don't change the subject Maureen But darling -- you haven't eaten all day You won't throw up You won't throw up The digital delay --- Didn't blow up (exactly) There may have been one teeny tiny spark You're not calling Mark COLLINS How do you stay on your feet When on every street It's 'trick or treat' (And tonight it's 'trick') 'Welcome back to town' Oh, I should lie down Everything's brown And uh -- oh I feel sick MARK (At the window) Where is he? COLLINS Getting dizzy (He collapses.) MARK & ROGER How we gonna pay How we gonna pay How we gonna pay Last year's rent (MARK and ROGER stoke the fire. Crosscut to BENNY's Range Rover) BENNY (On cellular phone) Alison baby -- you sound sad I don't believe those two after everything I've done Ever since our wedding I'm dirt -- They'll see I can help them all out in the long run (Three locales: JOANNE at the pay phone, MARK and ROGER in their loft, and COLLINS on the ground. The following is sung simultaneously) BENNY Forces are gathering Forces are gathering Can't turn away Forces are gathering COLLINS Ughhhhh-- Ughhhhh-- Ughhhhh-- I can't think Ughhhhh-- Ughhhhh-- Ughhhhh-- I need a drink MARK (reading from a script page) "The music ignites the night with passionate fire" JOANNE Maureen -- I'm not a theatre person ROGER "The narration crackles and pops with incendiary wit" JOANNE Could never be a theatre person MARK Zoom in as they burn the past to the ground JOANNE (realizing she's been cut off) Hello? MARK & ROGER And feel the heat of the future's glow JOANNE Hello? (The phone rings in the loft. MARK picks it up) MARK (On phone) Hello? Maureen? --Your equipment won't work? Okay, all right, I'll go! MARK & HALF THE COMPANY How do you leave the past behind When it keeps finding ways to get to your heart It reaches way down deep and tears you inside out Till you're torn apart Rent! ROGER & OTHER HALF OF COMPANY How can you connect in an age Where strangers, landlords, lovers Your own blood cells betray ALL What binds the fabric together When the raging, shifting winds of change Keep ripping away BENNY Draw a line in the sand And then make a stand ROGER Use your camera to spar MARK Use your guitar ALL When they act tough - you call their bluff MARK & ROGER We're not gonna pay MARK & ROGER W/HALF THE COMPANY We're not gonna pay MARK & ROGER W/OTHER HALF OF COMPANY We're not gonna pay ALL Last year's rent This year's rent Next year's rent Rent rent rent rent rent We're not gonna pay rent ROGER & MARK 'Cause everything is rent "YOU OKAY HONEY? (The street)" (The street in front of the pay phone. A HOMELESS MAN appears above on the right. Across the stage, ANGEL DUMOTT SCHUNARD is seated on the Christmas tree sculpture, with a plastic pickle tub balanced like a drum between his knees) A HOMELESS MAN Christmas bells are ringing Christmas bells are ringing Christmas bells are ringing Somewhere else! Not here (The HOMELESS MAN exits. ANGEL gets a good beat going on the tub, but is interrupted by a moan. He starts to drum again and sees COLLINS limp to downstage-left proscenium) ANGEL You okay honey? COLLINS I'm afraid so ANGEL They get any money? COLLINS No Had none to get But they purloined my coat Well you missed a sleeve! - Thanks ANGEL Hell, it's Christmas Eve I'm Angel COLLINS Angel..? Indeed An angel of the first degree Friends call me Collins - Tom Collins Nice tree.. ANGEL Let's get a band-aid for your knee I'll change, there's a "Life Support" meeting at nine-thirty Yes this body provides a comfortable home For the Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome COLLINS As does mine ANGEL We'll get along fine Get you a coat, have a bite Make a night I'm flush COLLINS My friends are waiting ANGEL You're cute when you blush The more the merri ho ho ho And I do not take no (ANGEL and COLLINS walk off stage right.) "TUNE UP #3 (The loft)" (Lights come up on loft) ROGER Where are you going? MARK Maureen calls. ROGER You're such a sucker! MARK I don't suppose you'd like to see her show in the lot tonight? (ROGER shrugs) Or come to dinner? ROGER Zoom in on my empty wallet MARK Touche. Take your AZT Close on Roger His girlfriend April Left a note saying "We've got AIDS" Before slitting her wrists in the bathroom I'll check up on you later - Change your mind. You have to get out of the house. (He exits) ROGER I'm writing one great song before I. "ONE SONG GLORY" One song Glory One song Before I go Glory One song to leave behind Find one song One last refrain Glory From the pretty boy front man Who wasted opportunity One song He had the world at his feet Glory In the eyes of a young girl A young girl Find glory Beyond the cheap colored lights One song Before the sun sets Glory - on another empty life Time flies - time dies Glory - One blaze of glory One blaze of glory - glory Find Glory In a song that rings true Truth like a blazing fire An eternal flame Find One song A song about love Glory From the soul of a young man A young man Find The one song Before the virus takes hold Glory Like a sunset One song To redeem this empty life Time flies And then - no need to endure anymore Time dies (ROGER is interrupted by a sharp knock on the door. It is MIMI MARQUEZ, a beautiful stranger from downstairs) The door (ROGER crosses to the door) "LIGHT MY CANDLE" ROGER What'd you forget? (MIMI enters, holding a candle and looking for a match; her electricity is down, too) MIMI Got a light? ROGER I know you? You're You're shivering MIMI It's nothing They turned off my heat And I'm just a little Weak on my feet Would you light my candle? What are you staring at? ROGER Nothing Your hair in the moonlight You look familiar (He lights her candle. MIMI starts to leave, but stumbles) Can you make it? MIMI Just haven't eaten much today At least the room stopped spinning Anyway, What? ROGER Nothing Your smile reminded me of MIMI I always remind people of who is she? ROGER She died, Her name was April (MIMI discreetly blows out the candle) MIMI It's out again Sorry about your friend Would you light my candle? (ROGER lights the candle. They linger, awkwardly) ROGER Well- MIMI Yeah. Ow! ROGER Oh, the wax it's -- MIMI Dripping! I like it -- between my -- ROGER Fingers. I figured... Oh, well. Goodnight (MIMI exits. ROGER heads back toward his guitar on the table. There is another knock, which he answers) It blew out again? MIMI No - I think that I dropped my stash ROGER I know I've seen you out and about When I used to go out Your candle's out MIMI I'm illin' I had it when I walked in the door It was pure Is it on the floor? ROGER The floor? (MIMI gets down on all fours and starts searching the floor for her stash. She looks back at ROGER, who is staring at her again) MIMI They say I have the best ass below 14th street Is it true? ROGER What? MIMI You're staring again ROGER Oh no I mean you do - have a nice- I mean , You look familiar MIMI Like your dead girlfriend? ROGER Only when you smile But I'm sure I've seen you somewhere else MIMI Do you go to the Cat Scratch Club? That's where I work - I dance - help me look ROGER Yes! They used to tie you up- MIMI It's a living (MIMI douses the flame again) ROGER I didn't recognize you Without the handcuffs MIMI We could light the candle Oh won't you light the candle? (ROGER lights it again.) ROGER Why don't you forget that stuff You look like you're sixteen MIMI I'm nineteen but I'm old for my age I'm just born to be bad ROGER I once was born to be bad I used to shiver like that MIMI I have no heat - I told you ROGER I used to sweat MIMI I got a cold ROGER Uh huh I used to be a junkie MIMI But now and then I like to ROGER Uh huh MIMI Feel good ROGER Here it - um (ROGER stoops and picks up a small object: MIMI's stash) MIMI What's that? ROGER It's a candy bar wrapper (ROGER puts it behind his back and into his pocket) MIMI We could light the candle (ROGER discreetly blows out the candle) MIMI What'd you do with my candle? ROGER That was my last match MIMI Our eyes'll adjust, thank God for the moon ROGER Maybe it's not the moon at all I hear Spike Lee's shooting down the street MIMI Bah humbug ... Bah humbug (MIMI places her hand under his, pretending to do it by accident) ROGER Cold hands MIMI Yours too Big. Like my father's You wanna dance? ROGER With you? MIMI No -- with my father ROGER I'm Roger MIMI They call me They call me Mimi (They come extremely close to a kiss. MIMI reaches into his pocket, nabs the stash, waves it in front of his face, and makes a sexy exit) "VOICE MAIL #2" (JOANNE's loft. In blackout another phone rings. We see MAUREEN in silhouette) MAUREEN Hi. You've reached Maureen and Joanne. Leave a message and don't forget "Over the Moon" -- My performance, protesting the eviction of the Homeless (and artists) from the Eleventh Street Lot. Tonight at midnight in the lot between A and B. Party at Life Cafe to follow (BEEP) MR. JEFFERSON Well, Joanne -- We're off I tried you at the office And they said you're stage managing or something MRS. JEFFERSON Remind her that those unwed mothers in Harlem Need her legal help too MR. JEFFERSON Call Daisy for our itinerary or Alfred at Pound Ridge Or Eileen at the state department in a pinch We'll be at the spa for new year's Unless the senator changes his mind MRS. JEFFERSON The hearings MR. JEFFERSON Oh yes Kitten Mummy's confirmation hearing begins on the tenth We'll need you alone - by the sixth MRS. JEFFERSON Harold! MR. JEFFERSON You hear that? It's three weeks away And she's already nervous MRS. JEFFERSON I am not! MR. JEFFERSON For Mummy's sake, Kitten No Doc Martens this time and wear a dress Oh, and Kitten -- have a merry MRS. JEFFERSON And a bra "TODAY 4 U (The loft)" (MARK and ROGER's loft) MARK Enter Tom Collins, computer genius, teacher, vagabond anarchist, who ran naked through the Parthenon (COLLINS carries ANGEL's pickle tub, now filled with provisions) MARK & COLLINS Bustelo - Marlboro Banana by the bunch A box of Captain Crunch will taste so good COLLINS And firewood MARK Look - it's Santa Claus COLLINS Hold your applause ROGER Oh hi COLLINS 'Oh hi' after seven months? ROGER Sorry COLLINS This boy could use some Stoli COLLINS, MARK & ROGER Oh holy night ROGER You struck gold at MIT? COLLINS They expelled me for my theory of Actual Reality Which I'll soon impart To the couch potatoes at New York University Still haven't left the house? ROGER I was waiting for you, don't you know? COLLINS Well, tonight's the night Come to the Life Cafe after Maureen's show ROGER No flow COLLINS Gentlemen, our benefactor on this Christmas Eve Whose charity is only matched by talent, I believe A new member of the Alphabet City avant-garde Angel Dumott Schunard! (ANGEL sashays in. He's gorgeously done up in Santa drag, with a fan of twenty-dollar bills in each hand) ANGEL Today for you - tomorrow for me Today for you - tomorrow for me COLLINS And you should hear her beat! MARK You earned this on the street? ANGEL It was my lucky day today on Avenue A When a lady in a limousine drove my way She said, "Dahling be a dear haven't slept in a year I need your help to make my neighbor's yappy dog disappear" "This Akita-Evita just won't shut up I believe if you play non-stop that pup Will breathe its very last high-strung breath I'm certain that cur will bark itself to death" Today for you - tomorrow for me Today for you - tomorrow for me We agreed on a fee - A thousand dollar guarantee Tax-free - and a bonus if I trim her tree Now who could foretell that it would go so well But sure as I am here that dog is now in doggy hell After an hour - Evita - in all her glory On the window ledge of that 23rd story Like Thelma & Louise did when they got the blues Swan dove into the courtyard of the Gracie Mews Today for you - tomorrow for me Today for you - tomorrow for me (ANGEL does a fabulous drum and dance solo) Then back to the street where I met my sweet Where he was moaning and groaning on the cold concrete The nurse took him home for some mercurochrome And I dressed his wounds and got him back on his feet Sing it! Today for you - tomorrow for me Today for you - tomorrow for me Today for you - tomorrow for me Today for you - tomorrow for me "YOU'LL SEE" (BENNY enters) BENNY Joy to the world Hey, you bum yeah, you, move over Get your ass off that range rover MARK That attitude toward the homeless is just what Maureen is protesting tonight. (Holding camera up to BENNY) Close up: Benjamin Coffin the third, our ex-roommate who married Alison Grey, of the Westport Greys - then bought the building and the lot next door from his father-in-law in hopes of starting a cyber-studio BENNY Maureen is protesting Losing her performance space Not my attitude ROGER What happened to Benny What happened to his heart And the ideals he once pursued? BENNY The owner of that lot next door Has a right to do with it as he pleases COLLINS Happy birthday, Jesus! BENNY The rent MARK You're wasting your time ROGER We're broke MARK And you broke your word - this is absurd BENNY There is one way you won't have to pay ROGER I knew it! BENNY Next door, the home of Cyberarts, you see And now that the block is re-zoned Our dream can become a reality You'll see boys You'll see boys A state of the art, digital, virtual interactive studio I'll forego your rent and on paper guarantee That you can stay here for free If you do me one small favor MARK What? BENNY Convince Maureen to cancel her protest MARK Why not just get an injunction or call the cops BENNY I did, and they're on stand by But my investors would rather I handle this quietly ROGER You can't quietly wipe out an entire tent city Then watch 'It's a Wonderful Life' on TV! BENNY You want to produce films and write songs? You need somewhere to do it! It's what we used to dream about Think twice before you pooh-pooh it You'll see boys You'll see boys You'll see - the beauty of a studio That lets us do our work and get paid With condos on the top Whose rent keeps open our shop Just stop the protest And you'll have it made You'll see - or you'll pack (BENNY exits) ANGEL That boy could use some prozac ROGER Or heavy drugs MARK Or group hugs COLLINS Which reminds me We have a detour to make tonight Anyone who wants to can come along ANGEL Life support's a group for people coping with life You don't have to stay too long MARK First I've got a protest to save ANGEL Roger? ROGER I'm not much company you'll find MARK Behave ANGEL He'll catch up later - He's just go other things on his mind You'll see boys MARK & COLLINS We'll see boys ROGER Let it be boys! COLLINS I like boys ANGEL Boys like me ALL We'll see TANGO: MAUREEN (The lot. JOANNE is reexamining the cable connections for the umpteenth time) MARK And so into the abyss...The lot. Where a small stage is partially set up JOANNE (playing with some wires) "Line in"... I went to Harvard for this? MARK Close on Mark's nose dive JOANNE "Line out"... MARK Will he get out of here alive...? (JOANNE notices MARK approaching) JOANNE Mark? MARK Hi JOANNE I told her not to call you MARK That's Maureen But can I help since I'm here JOANNE I hired an engineer MARK Great! Well, nice to have met you JOANNE Wait! She's three hours late The samples won't delay But the cable MARK There's another way Say something - anything JOANNE (into the mike) Test - one, two three MARK Anything but that JOANNE This is weird MARK It's weird JOANNE Very weird MARK Fuckin' weird JOANNE I'm so mad That I don't know what to do Fighting with microphones Freezing down to my bones And to top it all off I'm with you MARK Feel like going insane? Got a fire in your brain? And you're thinking of drinking gasoline? JOANNE As a matter of fact MARK Honey, I know this act It's called the 'Tango Maureen' The Tango Maureen It's a dark, dizzy merry-go-round As she keeps you dangling JOANNE You're wrong MARK Your heart she is mangling JOANNE It's different with me MARK And you toss and you turn 'Cause her cold eyes can burn Yet you yearn and you churn and rebound JOANNE I think I know what you mean BOTH The Tango Maureen MARK Has she ever pouted her lips And called you 'Pookie' JOANNE Never MARK Have you ever doubted a kiss or two? JOANNE This is spooky Did you swoon when she walked through the door? MARK Every time - so be cautious JOANNE Did she moon over other boys? MARK More than moon JOANNE I'm getting nauseous (They begin to dance, with MARK leading) MARK Where'd you learn to tango? JOANNE With the French Ambassador's daughter in her dorm room at Miss Porter's And you? MARK With Nanette Himmelfarb. The Rabbi's daughter at the Scarsdale Jewish Community Center (They switch, and JOANNE leads) It's hard to do this backwards JOANNE You should try it in heels! She cheated MARK She cheated JOANNE Maureen cheated MARK Fuckin' cheated JOANNE I'm defeated I should give up right now MARK Gotta look on the bright side With all of your might JOANNE I'd fall for her still anyhow BOTH When you're dancing her dance You don't stand a chance Her grip of romance Make you fall MARK So you think, 'Might as well' JOANNE "Dance a tango to hell" BOTH At least I'll have tangoed at all The Tango Maureen Gotta dance till your diva is through You pretend to believe her Cause in the end you can't leave her But the end it will come Still you have to play dumb Till you're glum and you bum And turn blue MARK Why do we love when she's mean? JOANNE And she can be so obscene MARK Try the mike JOANNE My Maureen (reverb: een, een, een...) MARK Patched JOANNE Thanks MARK You know I feel great now! JOANNE I feel lousy (The pay phone rings. MARK hands it to JOANNE) Honey, we're... (pause) Pookie?! You never call me Pookie... Forget it, we're patched (She hangs up, looks at MARK) BOTH The Tango Maureen LIFE SUPPORT (ANGEL and COLLINS attend an AIDS Life Support group. PAUL, the support leader, sits on the downstage railing above. GORDON, one of the members of the group, is standing downstage left, facing the audience. As the mebers enter, they introduce themselves and form a semicircle. Note: The names of the support group members should change every night and should honor actual friends of the compnay who have died of AIDS) STEVE Steve GORDON Gordon ALI Ali PAM Pam SUE Sue ANGEL Hi, I'm Angel COLLINS Tom. Collins PAUL I'm Paul. Let's begin ALL There's only us There's only this.. (MARK blusters in noisily) MARK Sorry ... Excuse me ... oops PAUL And you are? MARK Oh - I'm not I'm just here to I don't have I'm here with Um - Mark Mark - I'm Mark Well - this is quite an operation PAUL Sit down Mark We'll continue the affirmation ALL Forget regret or life is yours to miss GORDON Excuse me Paul - I'm having a problem with this This credo - My T-cells are low I regret that news, okay? PAUL Alright But Gordon - How do you feel today? GORDON What do you mean? PAUL How do you feel today? GORDON Okay PAUL Is that all? GORDON Best I've felt all year PAUL Then why choose fear? GORDON I'm a New Yorker Fear's my life Look - I find some of what you teach suspect Because I'm used to relying on intellect But I try to open up to what I don't know GORDON & ROGER (who sings from his loft) Because reason says I should have died Three years ago ALL No other road No other way No day but today OUT TONIGHT (Mimi's apartment) MIMI What's the time? Well it's gotta be close to midnight My body's talking to me It says, "Time for danger" It says "I wanna commit a crime Wanna be the cause of a fight Wanna put on a tight skirt and flirt With a stranger" I've had a knack from way back At breaking the rules once I learn the games Get up - life's too quick I know someplace sick Where this chick'll dance in the flames We don't need any money I always get in for free You can get in too If you get in with me Let's go out tonight I have to go out tonight You wanna play? Let's run away We won't be back before it's Christmas day Take me out tonight (meow) When I get a wink from the doorman Do you know how lucky you'll be? That you're on line with the feline of Avenue B Let's go out tonight I have to go out tonight You wanna prowl Be my night owl? Well take my hand we're gonna howl Out tonight In the evening I've got to roam Can't sleep in the city of neon and chrome Feels too damn much like home When the Spanish babies cry So let's find a bar So dark we forget who we are And all the scars from the Nevers and maybes die Let's go out tonight Have to go out tonight You're sweet Wanna hit the street? Wanna wail at the moon like a cat in heat? Just take me out tonight (MIMI makes her way to ROGER's door and ends the song in front of him.) Please take me out tonight Don't forsake me - out tonight I'll let you make me - out tonight Tonight - tonight - tonight ANOTHER DAY (The loft - MIMI plants a huge kiss on ROGER, who recoils) ROGER Who do you think you are? Barging in on me and my guitar Little girl hey The door is that way You better go you know The fire's out anyway Take your powder take your candle Your sweet whisper I just can't handle Well take your hair in the moonlight Your brown eyes goodbye, goodnight I should tell you I should tell you I should tell you I should no! Another time another place Our temperature would climb There'd be a long embrace We'd do another dance It'd be another play Looking for romance? Come back another day Another day MIMI The heart may freeze or it can burn The pain will ease if I can learn There is no future There is no past I live this moment as my last There's only us There's only this Forget regret Or life is yours to miss No other road No other way No day but today ROGER Excuse me if I'm off track But if you're so wise Then tell me why do you need smack? Take your needle Take your fancy prayer And don't forget Get the moonlight out of your hair Long ago you might've lit up my heart But the fire's dead ain't never ever gonna start Another time another place The words would only rhyme We'd be in outer space It'd be another song We'd sing another way You wanna prove me wrong? Come back another day Another day MIMI There's only yes Only tonight We must let go To know what's right No other course No other way No day but today (Lights slowly fade up on the Life Support group) MIMI & OTHERS I can't control My destiny I trust my soul My only goal is just To be There's only now There's only here Give in to love Or live in fear No other path No other way No day but today ROGER Control your temper She doesn't see Who says that there's a soul? Just let me be Who do you think you are? Barging in on me and my guitar Little girl, hey The door is that way The fire's out anyway ALL No day but today No day but today No day but today No day but today No day but today ROGER Take your powder, take your candle Take your brown eyes, your pretty smile, your silhouette Another time, another place Another rhyme, a warm embrace Another dance, another way Another chance, another day (MIMI and the Life Support group members exit. One person, STEVE, remains at stage right, above) WILL I? (Various locations) STEVE Will I lose my dignity Will someone care Will I wake tomorrow From this nightmare? GROUP #1 Will I lose my dignity Will someone care Will I wake tomorrow From this nightmare? GROUP #2 Will I lose my dignity Will someone care Will I wake tomorrow From this nightmare? GROUP #3 Will I lose my dignity Will someone care Will I wake tomorrow From this nightmare? GROUP #4 Will I lose my dignity Will someone care Will I wake tomorrow From this nightmare? (ROGER puts on his jacket and exits the loft) ON THE STREET THREE HOMELESS PEOPLE Christmas bells are ringing Christmas bells are ringing Christmas bells are ringing Out of town Santa Fe SQUEEGEEMAN Honest living, man (He recoils as though he's almost been run over by a car) Feliz Navidad (Three POLICE OFFICERS, in full riot gear, enter and approach sleeping BLANKET PERSON - The FIRST OFFICER pokes her with a nightstick) HOMELESS PERSON Evening, officers (Without answering, the FIRST OFFICER raises his nightstick again) MARK (pointing his camera) Smile for Ted Koppel, Officer Martin (The FIRST OFFICER lowers his stick) HOMELESS PERSON And a Merry Christmas to your family POLICE OFFICERS Right (The POLICE OFFICERS stride offstage. MARK continues to film BLANKET PERSON) BLANKET PERSON (To MARK) Who the fuck do you think you are? I don't need no goddamn help From some bleeding heart cameraman My life's not for you to Make a name for yourself on ANGEL Easy, sugar, easy He was just trying to BLANKET PERSON Just trying to use me to kill his guilt It's not that kind of movie, honey Let's go this lot is full of Motherfucking artists Hey artist You gotta dollar? I thought not (BLANKET PERSON crosses to downstage left with another HOMELESS PERSON) SANTA FE (The Street) ANGEL New York City MARK Uh huh ANGEL Center of the universe COLLINS Sing it girl- ANGEL Times are shitty But I'm pretty sure they can't get worse MARK I hear you ANGEL It's a comfort to know When you're singing the hit-the-road blues That anywhere else you could possibly go After New York would be a pleasure cruise COLLINS Now you're talking Well, I'm thwarted by a metaphysic puzzle And I'm sick of grading papers that I know And I'm shouting in my sleep, I need a muzzle All this misery pays no salary, so Let's open up a restaurant in Santa Fe Oh sunny Santa Fe would be nice Let's open up a restaurant in Santa Fe And leave this to the roaches and mice Oh-oh ALL Oh ANGEL You teach? COLLINS I teach , Computer Age Philosophy But my students would rather watch TV ANGEL America ALL America COLLINS You're a sensitive aesthete Brush the sauce onto the meat You could make the menu sparkle with rhyme You could drum a gentle drum I could seat guests as they come Chatting not about Heidegger, but wine (with HOMELESS PEOPLE in the shadows) Let's open up a restaurant in Santa Fe Our labors would reap financial gains ALL Gains, gains, gains COLLINS We'll open up a restaurant in Santa Fe And save from devastation our brains HOMELESS Save our brains ALL We'll pack up all our junk and fly so far away Devote ourselves to projects that sell We'll open up a restaurant in Santa Fe Forget this cold Bohemian hell Oh Oh COLLINS Do you know the way to Santa Fe? You know, tumbleweeds...prairie dogs... Yeah I'LL COVER YOU MARK I'll meet you at the show I'll try and convince Roger to go (MARK exits) ANGEL Alone at last COLLINS He'll be back, I guarantee ANGEL I've been hearing violins all night COLLINS Anything to do with me? Are we a thing? ANGEL Darling... we're everything! Live in my house I'll be your shelter Just pay me back With one thousand kisses Be my lover I'll cover you COLLINS Open your door I'll be your tenant Don't got much baggage To lay at your feet But sweet kisses I've got to spare I'll be there- I'll cover you BOTH I think they meant it When they said you can't buy love Now I know you can rent it A new lease you are, my love, On life be my life (They do a short dance) Just slip me on I'll be your tenant Wherever whatever I'll be your coat ANGEL You'll be my king And I'll be your castle COLLINS No you'll be my queen And I'll be your moat BOTH I think they meant it When they said you can't buy love Now I know you can rent it A new lease you are, my love, On life all my life I've longed to discover Something as true as this is COLLINS So with a thousand sweet kisses I'll cover you With a thousand sweet kisses I'll cover you ANGEL If you're cold And you're lonely You've got one nickel only With a thousand sweet kisses I'll cover you With a thousand sweet kisses I'll cover you COLLINS When you're worn out And tired When your heart has expired BOTH Oh lover I'll cover you Oh lover I'll cover you WE'RE OKAY JOANNE (on cellular phone) Steve Joanne The Murget case? A dismissal Good work counselor (The pay phone rings. JOANNE answers it and begins a conversation with MAUREEN simultaneously juggling two other calls on her cellular phone) We're okay Honeybear wait! I'm on the other phone Yes, I have the cowbell We're okay (into cellular phone) So tell them we'll sue But a settlement will do Sexual harassment and civil rights too Steve, you're great (into pay phone) No you cut the paper plate Didja cheat on Mark a lot would you say? We're okay Honey hold on (into cellular phone) Steve, hold on (JOANNE presses the call-waiting button on the cellular phone) Hello? Dad - yes I beeped you Maureen is coming to Mother's hearing We're okay (into pay phone) Honeybear - what? Newt's lesbian sister I'll tell them (into cellular phone) You heard? (into pay phone) They heard We're okay (into cellular phone) And to you dad (JOANNE presses the call-waiting as she speaks into the pay phone) Yes - Jill is there? (into cellular phone) Steve gotta- (into pay phone) Jill with the short black hair? The Calvin Klein model? (into cellular phone) Steve, gotta go (into pay phone) The model who lives in Penthouse A? We're We're okay I'm on my way CHRISTMAS BELLS (Various locations, St. Marks Place) FIVE HOMELESS PEOPLE Christmas bells are ringing Christmas bells are ringing Christmas bells are singing On TV - at Saks SQUEEGEEMAN Honest living, honest living Honest living, honest living Honest living, honest living ALL FIVE HOMELESS Can't you spare a dime or two Here but for the grace of God go you You'll be merry I'll be merry Tho merry ain't in my vocabulary No sleighbells No Santa Claus No yule log No tinsel No holly No hearth No SOLOIST Rudolph the red nosed reindeer ALL FIVE Rudolph the red nosed reindeer No room at the Holiday Inn oh no (A few flakes of snow begin to descend) And it's beginning to snow (The stage suddenly explodes with life. The scene is St. Mark's Place on Christmas Eve -- an open-air bazaar of color, noise, and movement) VENDORS Hats, bats, shoes, booze Mountain bikes, potpourri Leather bags, girlie mags Forty-fives, AZT VENDOR #1 No one's buying Feel like crying ALL No room at the Holiday Inn, oh no And it's beginning to snow (Lights up on one woman, who is showing off a collection of stolen coats to COLLINS and ANGEL) VENDOR #2 How about a fur In perfect shape Owned by an MBA from uptown I got a tweed Broken in by a greedy Broker who went broke And then broke down COLLINS You don't have to do this ANGEL Hush your mouth, it's Christmas COLLINS I do not deserve you, Angel Give-give All you do Is give Give me some way to show How much you've touched me so ANGEL Wait--what's on the floor? Let's see some more No-no-no Kiss me - it's beginning to snow (Lights focus on MARK and ROGER on right above) MARK She said, "Would you light my candle?" And she put on a pout And she wanted you To take her out tonight? ROGER Right MARK She got you out! ROGER She was more than okay But I pushed her away It was bad I got mad And I had to get her out of my sight MARK Wait, wait, wait you said she was sweet ROGER Let's go eat - I'll just get fat It's the one vice left when you're dead meat (MIMI has entered looking furtively for THE MAN) There - that's her MARK Maureen? ROGER Mimi MARK Whoa ROGER I should go MARK Hey - it's beginning to snow (The POLICE OFFICERS, in riot gear, enter above) POLICE OFFICERS I'm dreaming of a white, right Christmas (POLICE OFFICERS exit) MIMI & JUNKIES Follow the man follow the man With his pockets full of the jam Follow the man follow the man Help me out, daddy If you can Got any D man? THE MAN I'm cool MIMI & JUNKIES Got any C man? THE MAN I'm cool MIMI & JUNKIES Got any X? Any smack? Any horse? Any jugie boogie boy? Any blow? (ROGER pulls MIMI aside) ROGER Hey MIMI Hey ROGER I just want to say I'm sorry for the way MIMI Forget it ROGER I blew up Can I make it up to you? MIMI How? ROGER Dinner party? MIMI That'll do THE MAN Hey lover boy cutie pie You steal my client you die ROGER You didn't miss me- you won't miss her You'll never lack for customers JUNKIES I'm willin' I'm illin' I gotta get my sickness off Gotta run, gotta ride Gotta gun, gotta hide - gotta go THE MAN And it's beginning to snow BENNY (entering, talking on his cellular phone) Wish me luck, Alison The protest is on COAT VENDOR L.L Bean Geoffrey Beene Burburry zip out Lining JUNKIES Got any C man? Got any D man? Got any B man? Got any crack? Got any X? SQUEEGEEMAN Honest living- ROGER Mark, this is Mimi MARK/MIMI Hi ROGER She'll be dining (with us) COAT VENDOR Here's a new arrival THE MAN That is an ounce VENDORS Hats, dats, bats COLLINS That's my coat! COAT VENDOR We give discounts MARK I think we've met ANGEL Let's get a better one COLLINS It's a sham MIMI That's what he said THE MAN I said it's a gram! COLLINS But she's a thief! ANGEL But she brought us together BENNY Which investor is coming?? COLLINS I'll take the leather BENNY Your father? Damn! (The following is sung simultaneously) HOMELESS & VENDORS Christmas bells are swinging Christmas bells are ringing Christmas bells are singing In my dreams - next year Once you donate you can go Celebrate in Tuckahoe You'll feel cheery I'll feel cheery Tho' I don't really know that theory No bathrobe No steuben glass No cappucino makers No pearls, no diamonds No 'Chestnuts roasting on an open fire' Chestnuts roasting on an open fire No room at the Holiday Inn, oh no- POLICE OFFICERS I'm dreaming of a white Christmas Just like the ones I used to know Jingle bells prison cells Fa la la la fa la la la You have the right to remain Silent night holy night Fall on your knees oh night divine You'll do some time Fa la la la la Fa la la la la JUNKIES Got any C man? Got any D man? Got any B man? Got any X? Crack? I'm willin' I'm illin' Gotta get my sickness off C-D help me Follow the man follow the man Follow the man Jugie boogie jugie boogie Follow the man follow the man Any crack any X any jugie boogie boy Any blow any X any jugie boogie boy Got any D man, got any C man Got any crack any X- any jugie boogie? COAT VENDOR Twenty-five ANGEL Fifteen COAT VENDOR Twenty-five ANGEL Fifteen COAT VENDOR No way Twenty-four ANGEL Fifteen COAT VENDOR Twenty-four ANGEL Fifteen COAT VENDOR Not today Twenty-three ANGEL Fifteen COAT VENDOR Twenty-three ANGEL Fifteen It's old COAT VENDOR Twenty-two ANGEL Fifteen COAT VENDOR Twenty-one ANGEL Fifteen COAT VENDOR Seventeen ANGEL Fifteen COAT VENDOR Fifteen ANGEL & COAT VENDOR Sold! MARK & ROGER Let's Go To The lot Maureen's performing MIMI Who's Maureen? ROGER His ex MARK But I am over her ROGER Let's not hold hands yet MIMI Is that a warning? ALL THREE He/You/I Just Need(s) To take it slow I should tell you I should tell you I should tell you I should tell you I should tell you I ALL And it's beginning to And it's beginning to And it's beginning to (Lights blackout and a blinding headlight comes through the door. As it reaches downstage, the lights come up and reveal MAUREEN) MAUREEN Joanne, which way to the stage? ALL Snow (Blackout) OVER THE MOON (The Lot) MARK Maureen's performance MAUREEN (in front of a microphone) Last night I had a dream. I found myself in a desert called Cyberland It was hot. My canteen had sprung a leak and I was thirsty Out of the abyss walked a cow Elsie I asked if she had anything to drink She said, "I'm forbidden to produce milk In Cyberland, we only drink Diet Coke She said, "Only thing to do is jump over the moon" "They've closed everything real down ... like barns, troughs, performance spaces And replaced it all with lies and rules and virtual life But there is a way out BACKUPS Leap of faith, leap of faith Leap of faith, leap of faith MAUREEN "Only thing to do is jump over the moon" I gotta get out of here! It's like I'm being tied to the hood of a yellow rental truck, being packed in with fertilizer and fuel oil, pushed over a cliff by a suicidal Mickey Mouse! I've gotta find a way "To jump over the moon Only thing to do is jump over the moon" BACKUPS Leap of faith, etc MAUREEN Then a little bulldog entered. His name (we have learned) was Benny And although he once had principles, He abandoned them to live as a lap dog to a wealthy daughter of the revolution "That's bull," he said "Ever since the cat took up the fiddle, that cow's been jumpy And the dish and the spoon were evicted from the table and eloped ... She's had trouble with that milk and the moon ever since Maybe it's a female thing 'Cause who'd want to leave Cyberland anyway?... Walls ain't so bad The dish and the spoon for instance They were down on their luck - knocked on my doghouse door I said, "Not in my backyard, utensils! Go back to China!" "The only way out is up," Elsie whispered to me "A leap of faith. Still thirsty?" she asked Parched. "Have some milk" I lowered myself beneath her and held my mouth to her swollen udder And sucked the sweetest milk I'd ever tasted (MAUREEN makes a slurping, sucking sound) "Climb on board," she said And as a harvest moon rose over Cyberland, We reared back and sprang into a gallop Leaping out of orbit I awoke singing BACKUPS Leap of faith, etc MAUREEN Only thing to do Only thing to do is jump Only thing to do is jump over the moon Only thing to do is jump over the moon Over the moon over the Moooooooo Moooooooo Moooooooo Moooooooo Moo with me (MAUREEN encourages the audience to moo with her. She says, "C'mon, sir, moo with me," etc. The audience responds. When the "moos" reach a crescendo, she cuts them off with a big sweep of her arms) Thank you (Blackout) LA VIE BOHEME (Life Cafe) (Downstage right, the PRINCIPALS have lined up and are waiting to be seated. A large table is situated down center. Down and to the right, BENNY and MR. GREY are seated at a smaller table. The RESTAURANT MAN tries to shoo our friends out) RESTAURANT MAN No please no Not tonight please no Mister can't you go Not tonight can't have a scene ROGER What? RESTAURANT MAN Go, please go; You - Hello, sir I said, "No" Important customer MARK What am I just a blur? RESTAURANT MAN You sit all night you never buy MARK That's a lie that's a lie I had a tea the other day RESTAURANT MAN You couldn't pay MARK Oh yeah COLLINS Benjamin Coffin III - here? RESTAURANT MAN Oh no ALL Wine and beer! MAUREEN The enemy of Avenue A We'll stay (They sit) RESTAURANT MAN Oy vey! COLLINS What brings the mogul in his own mind to the Life Cafe? BENNY I would like to propose a toast To Maureen's noble try It went well MAUREEN Go to hell BENNY Was the yuppie scum stomped Not counting the homeless How many tickets weren't comped ROGER Why did Muffy- BENNY Alison ROGER Miss the show? BENNY There was a death in the family If you must know ANGEL Who died? BENNY Our Akita BENNY, MARK, ANGEL, COLLINS Evita BENNY Mimi I'm surprised A bright and charming girl like you Hangs out with these slackers (Who don't adhere to deals) They make fun yet I'm the one Attempting to do some good Or do you really want a neighborhood Where people piss on your stoop every night? Bohemia, Bohemia's A fallacy in your head This is Calcutta Bohemia is dead (The BOHEMIANS immediately begin to enact a mock funeral, with MARK delivering the "eulogy") MARK Dearly beloved we gather here to say our goodbyes COLLINS & ROGER Dies irae dies illa Kyrie eleison Yitgadal v' yitkadash, etc. MARK Here she lies No one knew her worth The late great daughter of mother earth On this night when we celebrate the birth In that little town of Bethlehem We raise our glass- you bet your ass to- (MAUREEN flashes hers) La vie Boheme ALL La vie Boheme La vie Boheme La vie Boheme La vie Boheme MARK To days of inspiration Playing hookie, making something out of nothing The need to express To communicate, To going against the grain, Going insane Going mad To loving tension, no pension To more than one dimension, To starving for attention, Hating convention, hating pretension Not to mention of course, Hating dear old mom and dad To riding your bike, Midday past the three- piece suits To fruits to no absolutes To Absolute- to choice To the Village Voice To any passing fad To being an us-for once-, instead of a them - ALL La vie Boheme La vie Boheme (JOANNE enters) MAUREEN Is the equipment in a pyramid? JOANNE It is, Maureen MAUREEN The mixer doesn't have a case Don't give me that face (MAUREEN smacks JOANNE's ass as she exits. MR. GREY reacts) MR. GREY Ahhemm MAUREEN Hey Mister- she's my sister RESTAURANT MAN So that's five miso soup, four seaweed salad Three soy burger dinner, two tofu dog platter And one pasta with meatless balls A BOY Ugh COLLINS It tastes the same MIMI If you close your eyes RESTAURANT MAN And thirteen orders of fries Is that it here? ALL Wine and beer! MIMI & ANGEL To hand-crafted beers made in local breweries To yoga, to yogurt, to rice and beans and cheese To leather, to dildos, to curry vindaloo To huevos rancheros and Maya Angelou MAUREEN & COLLINS Emotion, devotion, to causing a commotion Creation, vacation MARK Mucho masturbation MAUREEN & COLLINS Compassion, to fashion, to passion when it's new COLLINS To Sontag ANGEL To Sondheim FOUR PEOPLE To anything taboo COLLINS & ROGER Ginsberg, Dylan, Cunningham and Cage COLLINS Lenny Bruce ROGER Langston Hughes MAUREEN To the stage PERSON #1 To Uta PERSON #2 To Buddha PERSON #3 Pablo Neruda, too MARK & MIMI Why Dorothy and Toto went over the rainbow To blow off Auntie Em ALL La vie Boheme (JOANNE returns) MAUREEN And wipe the speakers off before you pack JOANNE Yes, Maureen MAUREEN Well - hurry back (MAUREEN and JOANNE kiss) MR. GREY Sisters? MAUREEN We're close (ANGEL jumps on top of COLLINS, who's on the table. They kiss) ANGEL, COLLINS, MAUREEN, MARK, MR. GREY Brothers! MARK, ANGEL, MIMI & THREE OTHERS Bisexuals, trisexuals, homo sapiens, Carcinogens, hallucinogens, men, Pee Wee Herman German wine, turpentine, Gertrude Stein Antonioni, Bertolucci, Kurosawa Carmina Burana ALL To apathy, to entropy, to empathy, ecstasy Vaclav Havel - The Sex Pistols, 8BC, To no shame - never playing the Fame Game COLLINS To marijuana ALL To sodomy, It's between God and me To S & M (MR. GREY walks out) BENNY Waiter...Waiter...Waiter ALL La vie Boheme COLLINS In honor of the death of Bohemia an impromptu salon will commence immediately following dinner Mimi Marquez, clad only in bubble wrap, will perform her famous lawn chair-handcuff dance to the sounds of iced tea being stirred ROGER Mark Cohen will preview his new documentary about his inability to hold an erection on high holy days (ROGER picks up an electric guitar and starts to tune it) MARK Maureen Johnson, back from her spectacular one-night engagement at the eleventh street lot, Will sing native american tribal chants backwards through her vocoder, While accompanying herself on the electric cello Which she has never studied (At this point, JOANNE has entered and seen MAUREEN playfully kiss MARK. JOANNE exits. BENNY pulls MIMI aside) BENNY Your new boyfriend doesn't know about us? MIMI There's nothing to know BENNY Don't you think that we should discuss- MIMI It was three months ago BENNY He doesn't act like he's with you MIMI We're taking it slow BENNY Where is he now? MIMI He's right - hmm BENNY Uh huh MIMI Where'd he go? MARK Roger will attempt to write a bittersweet, evocative song (ROGER picks up a guitar and plays Musetta's Theme) That doesn't remind us of "Musetta's Waltz" COLLINS Angel Dumott Schunard will now model the latest fall fashions from Paris While accompanying herself on the 10 gallon plastic pickle tub ANGEL And Collins will recount his exploits as an anarchist Including the successful reprogramming of the M.I.T. virtual reality equipment To self-destruct, as it broadcast the words: ALL "Actual reality -- Act Up -- Fight AIDS" BENNY Check! (BENNY exits. Lights on MIMI and ROGER) MIMI Excuse me did I do something wrong? I get invited then ignored all night long ROGER I've been trying I'm not lying No one's perfect I've got baggage MIMI Life's too short, babe, time is flying I'm looking for baggage that goes with mine ROGER I should tell, you- MIMI I've got baggage too ROGER I should tell you MIMI I got baggage, too ROGER I should tell you BOTH Baggage - wine OTHERS And beer! (Several beepers sound. Each turns off his or her beeper) MIMI AZT break (MIMI, ROGER, ANGEL, and COLLINS take pills) ROGER You? MIMI Me , You? ROGER Mimi (They hold hands and stare into each other's eyes lovingly. The rest of the company freezes) I SHOULD TELL YOU ROGER I should tell you I'm disaster I forget how to begin it MIMI Let's just make this part go faster I have yet to be in it I should tell you ROGER I should tell you MIMI I should tell you ROGER I should tell you MIMI I should tell I blew the candle out Just to get back in ROGER I'd forgotten how to smile Until your candle burned my skin MIMI I should tell you ROGER I should tell you MIMI I should tell you BOTH I should tell Well, here we go Now we- MIMI Oh no ROGER I know this something is Here goes MIMI Here goes ROGER Guess so It's starting to Who knows? MIMI Who knows BOTH Who knows where Who goes there Who knows Here goes Trusting desire starting to learn Walking through fire without a burn Clinging a shoulder, a leap begins Stinging and older, asleep on pins So here we go Now we ROGER Oh no MIMI I know ROGER Oh no BOTH Who knows where who goes there Here goes here goes Here goes here goes Here goes here goes LA VIE BOHEME B (ROGER and MIMI exit. JOANNE reenters, obviously steamed) MAUREEN Are we packed? JOANNE Yes and by next week I want you to be MAUREEN Pookie? JOANNE And you should see They've padlocked your building And they're rioting on Avenue B Benny called the cops MAUREEN That fuck JOANNE They don't know what they're doing The cops are sweeping the lot But no one's leaving They're just sitting there, mooing! ALL Yeah!!! (Pandemonium erupts in the restaurant) To dance A GIRL No way to make a living, masochism, pain, perfection Muscle spasms, chiropractors, short careers, eating disorders ALL Film MARK Adventure, tedium, no family, boring locations, Dark rooms, perfect faces, egos, money, Hollywood and sleaze ALL Music ANGEL Food of love, emotion, mathematics, isolation, Rhythm, feeling, power, harmony, and heavy competition ALL Anarchy COLLINS & MAUREEN Revolution, justice, screaming for solutions, Forcing changes, risk, and danger Making noise and making pleas ALL To faggots, lezzies, dykes, cross dressers too MAUREEN To me MARK To me COLLINS & ANGEL To me ALL To you, and you and you, you and you To people living with, living with, living with Not dying from disease Let he among us without sin Be the first to condemn La vie Boheme La vie Boheme La vie Boheme MARK Anyone out of the mainstream Is anyone in the mainstream? Anyone alive with a sex drive OTHERS La vie boheme La vie boheme La vie boheme MARK Tear down the wall Aren't we all? The opposite of war isn't peace It's creation ALL La vie Boheme MARK The riot continues. The Christmas tree goes up in flames. The snow dances. Oblivious, Mimi and Roger share a small, lovely kiss ALL Viva la vie Boheme Act II (The COMPANY enters from all directions and forms a line across the front of the stage) SEASONS OF LOVE COMPANY Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred moments so dear Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes How do you measure - measure a year? In daylights - In sunsets In midnights - In cups of coffee In inches - In miles In laughter - In strife In Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes How do you measure a year in the life? How about love? How about love? How about love? Measure in love Seasons of love Seasons of love SOLOIST #1 Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes Five hundred twenty-five thousand Journeys to plan Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes How do you measure the life Of a woman or a man? SOLOIST #2 In truths that she learned Or in times that he cried In bridges he burned Or the way that she died ALL It's time now - to sing out Tho' the story never ends Let's celebrate Remember a year in the life of friends Remember the love Remember the love Remember the love Measure in love SOLOIST #1 Measure, measure your life in love ALL Seasons of love Seasons of love HAPPY NEW YEAR (New Year's Eve. The scene opens on the street outside the apartment. one table, lying on its end, serves as the door) MARK (carrying mock door) Pan to the padlocked door. New Year's Rocking Eve. The breaking-back-into-the-building party (ROGER and MIMI try in vain to pry a padlock from the door. They appear to be happy) MIMI How long till next year? ROGER Three and half minutes MIMI I'm giving up my vices I'm going back - back to school Eviction or not This week's been so hot That long as I've got you I know I'll be cool I couldn't crack the love code, dear 'Til you made the lock on my heart explode It's gonna be a happy new year A happy new year (MARK enters the scene) MARK Coast is clear You're supposed to be working That's for midnight Where are they? There isn't much time MIMI Maybe they're dressing I mean what does one wear that's apropos For a party that's also a crime (MAUREEN enters wearing a skintight "cat burgualr" suit and carrying a bag of potato chips) MAUREEN Chips, anyone? MARK You can take the girl out of Hicksville But you can't take the Hicksville out of the girl MAUREEN My riot got you on TV I deserve a royalty MIMI Be nice you two Or no god awful champagne (MAUREEN takes out a cellular phone and dials) MAUREEN Don't mind if I do No luck? ROGER Bolted plywood, padlocked with a chain A total dead end MAUREEN Just like my ex-girlfriend (on cellular phone) Honey...? I know you're there Please pick up the phone Are you okay? It's not funny It's not fair How can I atone? Are you okay? I lose control But I can learn to behave Give me one more chance Let me be your slave I'll kiss your Doc Martens Let me kiss your Doc Martens Your every wish I will obey (JOANNE enters) JOANNE That might be okay Down girl Heel...stay I did a bit of research With my friends at legal aid Technically, you're squatters There's hope But just in case (JOANNE whips out) MARK & JOANNE Rope MARK (pointing off) We can hoist a line- JOANNE To the fire escape MARK And tie off at MARK & JOANNE That bench MAUREEN I can't take them as chums JOANNE Start hoisting...wench (All three cross upstage and attempt to throw up the length of rope over a plank. ROGER and MIMI are laughing and holding each other) ROGER I think I should be laughing Yet I forget Forget how to begin I'm feeling something inside And yet I still can't decide If I should hide Or make a wide open grin Last week I wanted just to disappear My life was dust But now it just may be a happy new year A happy new year (COLLINS enters with ANGEL. COLLINS, dressed in black and wearing sunglasses, carries a bottle of champagne. ANGEL wears a plastic dress and blonde wig: a small blowtorch is slung over his shoulder) COLLINS Bond - James Bond ANGEL And Pussy Galore - in person MIMI Pussy you came prepared ANGEL I was a boy scout once And a brownie 'Til some brat got scared COLLINS (to MIMI) Aha! Moneypenny -- my martini! MIMI Will bad champagne do? ROGER That's shaken - not stirred COLLINS Pussy - the bolts (COLLINS takes a swig of champagne as ANGEL grabs the blowtorch) ANGEL Just say the word! (ANGEL turns on the blowtorch) MIMI Two minutes left to execute our plan COLLINS Where's everyone else? ROGER Playing Spiderman MARK Ironic close up: tight On the phone machine's red light Once the Boho boys are gone The power mysteriously comes on VOICE MAIL #3 (Lights up on MRS. COHEN, who's standing on a chair and holding up a phone) MRS. COHEN Mark, it's the wicked witch of the west your mother Happy new year from Scarsdale We're all impressed that the riot footage Made the nightly news Even your father says Mazeltov Honey- call him Love, Mom (MRS. COHEN, stepping off the chair, passes the phone to ALEXI DARLING) ALEXI DARLING (on the chair) Mark Cohen Alexi Darling from Buzzline MARK Oh, that show's so sleazy ALEXI DARLING Your footage on the riots: A-one Feature segment network dealtime I'm sending you a contract Ker-ching ker-ching Marky give us a call 970-4301 Or at home try 863-6754 Or - my cell phone at 919-763-0090 Or - you can e-mail me At Darling Alexi Newscom dot net Or -- you can page me at- (Beeeep!) HAPPY NEW YEAR B MAUREEN I think we need an agent MARK We? JOANNE That's selling out MARK But it's nice to dream MAUREEN Yeah it's network TV And it's all thanks to me MARK Somehow I think I smell The whiff of a scheme JOANNE Me too MAUREEN We can plan another protest JOANNE We? MAUREEN This time you can shoot from the start (to MARK) You'll direct (to JOANNE) Starring me (Lights shift back to downstairs) ALL 5, 4, 3... Open sesame!! (The door falls away, revealing MARK, JOANNE, and MAUREEN) Happy new year Happy new year Happy new... BENNY (entering) I see that you've beaten me to the punch ROGER How did you know we'd be here? BENNY I had a hunch MARK You're not mad? BENNY I'm here to end this war It's a shame you went and destroyed the door MIMI Why all the sudden the big about face BENNY The credit is yours You made a good case ROGER What case? BENNY Mimi came to see me And she had much to say MIMI That's not how you put it at all yesterday BENNY I couldn't stop thinking about the whole mess Mark you want to get this on film MARK (picking up his camera) I guess BENNY I regret the unlucky circumstances Of the past seven days ROGER Circumstance? You padlocked our door BENNY And it's with great pleasure On behalf of CyberArts That I hand you this key (BENNY hands him the key) ANGEL Golf claps (They oblige) MARK I have no juice in my battery BENNY Reshoot ROGER I see this is a photo opportunity MAUREEN The benevolent god Ushers the poor artists back to their flat Were you planning on taking down the barbed wire From the lot, too? ROGER Anything but that BENNY Clearing the lot was a safety concern We break ground this month But you can return MAUREEN That's why you're here with people you hate Instead of with Muffy at Muffy's estate BENNY I'd honestly rather be with you tonight than in Westport ROGER Spare us old sport, the soundbite BENNY Mimi since your was are so seductive MIMI You came on to me BENNY Persuade him not to be so counterproductive ROGER Liar BENNY Why not tell them what you wore to my place? MIMI I was on my way to work BENNY Black leather and lace My desk was a mess I think I'm still sore MIMI Cause I kicked him and told him I wasn't his whore BENNY Does your boyfriend know Who your last boyfriend was? ROGER I'm not her boyfriend I don't care what she does ANGEL People! Is this any way to start a new year? Have compassion Benny just lost his cat BENNY My dog- but I appreciate that ANGEL My cat had a fall And I went through hell BENNY It's like losing a How did you know that she fell? COLLINS (Hands BENNY a glass of champagne) Champagne? BENNY Don't mind if I do To dogs! ALL BUT BENNY No, Benny- To you! ANGEL Let's make a resolution MIMI I'll drink to that COLLINS Let's always stay friends JOANNE Tho' we may have our disputes MAUREEN This family tree's got deep roots MARK Friendship is thicker than blood ROGER That depends MIMI Depends on trust ROGER Depends on true devotion JOANNE Depends on love MARK (to ROGER) Depends on not denying emotion ROGER Perhaps ALL It's gonna be a happy new year ROGER I guess ALL It's gonna be a happy new year ROGER You're right (ANGEL brings ROGER and MIMI together. ANGEL and others move away from MIMI and ROGER) ANGEL It's gonna be a happy new year ROGER & MIMI I'm sorry ROGER Coming? MIMI In a minute I'm fine go (ROGER kisses MIMI and exits. THE MAN appears) THE MAN Well, well, well. What have we here? (He walks over to MIMI and holds out a small plastic bag of white powder) It's gonna be a happy new year There, there...etc. (Fade out) TAKE ME OR LEAVE ME (Any location and Joanne's loft) MARK Valentine's Day.Pan across the empty lot. Roger's down at Mimi's, where he's been for almost two months now - although he keeps talking about selling his guitar and heading out of town...Still jealous of Benny... God knows where Collins and Angel are...Could be that new Shanty Town near the river or a suite at the Plaza...Maureen and Joanne are rehearsing... JOANNE I said once more from the top MAUREEN I said NO! MARK That is, if they're speaking this week. Me? I'm here. Nowhere (Lights up on the scene) JOANNE The line is 'Cyber Arts and its corporate sponsor, Grey Communications, would like to mitigate the Christmas Eve riots.' What is so difficult...? MAUREEN It just doesn't roll off my tongue. I like my version.! JOANNE You - dressed as a ground hog. To protest the ground breaking! MAUREEN It's a METAPHOR! JOANNE Well, it's less than brilliant! MAUREEN That's it, Ms. Ivy League! JOANNE What? MAUREEN Ever since New Year's, I haven't said boo. I let you direct, I didn't pierce my nipples because it grossed you out! I didn't sta and dance at the Clit Club that night, 'cause you wanted to go home JOANNE You were flirting with the woman in rubber MAUREEN That's what this is about!? There will always be women in rubber, flirting with me... Gimme a break Every single day I walk down the street I hear people say, "Baby's so sweet" Ever since puberty Everybody stares at me Boys - girls I can't can't help it baby So be kind Don't lose your mind Just remember that I'm your baby Take me for what I am Who I was meant to be And if you give a damn Take me baby or leave me Take me baby or leave me A tiger in a cage Can never see the sun This diva needs her stage Baby - let's have fun! You are the one I choose Folks'd kill to fill your shoes You love the limelight too, baby So be mine Or don't waste my time Cryin' -- "Honeybear -- are you still my baby?" Take me for what I am Who I was meant to be And if you give a damn Take me baby or leave me No way can I be what I'm not But hey don't you want your girl hot! Don't fight don't lose your head Cause every night who's in your bed? Who's in your bed, baby? (Pouts in JOANNE's direction) Kiss, Pookie JOANNE It won't work I look before I leap I love margins and discipline I make lists in my sleep Baby what's my sin? Never quit I follow through I hate mess but I love you What to do With my impromptu baby? So be wise This girl satisfies You've got a prize But don't compromise You're one lucky baby Take me for what I am MAUREEN A control freak JOANNE Who I was meant to be MAUREEN A snob yet over-attentive JOANNE And if you give a damn MAUREEN A lovable, droll geek JOANNE Take me baby or leave me MAUREEN And anal retentive BOTH That's it! JOANNE The straw that breaks my back BOTH I quit JOANNE Unless you take it back BOTH Women MAUREEN What is it about them? BOTH Can't live With them Or without them! Take me for what I am Who I was meant to be And if you give a damn Take me baby or leave me Take me baby Or leave me Guess I'm leavin' I'm gone (They both sit) SEASONS OF LOVE B COMPANY In diapers report cards In spoke wheels in speeding tickets In contracts dollars In funerals in births In five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes How do you figure A last year on earth? Figure in love Figure in love Figure in love Measure in love Seasons of love Seasons of love WITHOUT YOU (Mimi's Apartment) (Three beds appear downstage. One, a hospital bed, is occupied by ANGEL. ROGER sits on another, JOANNE on the third. MIMI approaches ROGER, and then appears to be in a hurry) ROGER Where were you? MIMI I'm sorry I'm late. ROGER (interrupting) I know. You lost your keys. No, you went for a walk; you had to help your mother. (As he picks up the guitar) And how's Benny? I'm gonna work upstairs tonight MIMI Wait I should tell you I should Never mind ROGER Happy Spring (ROGER exits. MIMI pulls out a just-purchased stash and angrily flings it across the room. As she sings the following, a stylized "musical beds" is choreographed around her; during the bridge of the song, COLLINS carries ANGEL from the hospital bed and ROGER takes his place. By the end of the song, MAUREEN and JOANNE are reunited, as are ROGER and MIMI. COLLINS and ANGEL have lain down together, where ANGEL dies) MIMI Without you The ground thaws The rain falls The grass grows Without you The seeds root The flowers bloom The children play The stars gleam The poets dream The eagles fly Without you The earth turns The sun burns But I die Without you Without you The breeze warms The girl smiles The cloud moves Without you The tides change The boys run The oceans crash The crowds roar The days soar The babies cry Without you The moon glows The river flows But I die Without you ROGER The world revives MIMI Colors renew BOTH But I know blue Only blue Lonely blue Within me, blue Without you MIMI Without you The hand gropes The ear hears The pulse beats ROGER Without you The eyes gaze The legs walk The lungs breathe BOTH The mind churns The heart yearns The tears dry Without you Life goes on But I'm gone Cause I die ROGER Without you MIMI Without you ROGER Without you BOTH Without you VOICE MAIL #4 (The loft. The phone rings) ROGER & MARK'S ANSWERING MACHINE "Speak" ... ("Beeeep!") ALEXI DARLING Mark Cohen Alexi Darling Labor Day weekend In East Hampton On the beach Just saw Alec Baldwin Told him you say hi Just kidding We still need directors You still need money You know you need money Pick up the phone Don't be afraid of ker-ching ker-ching Marky -- sell us your soul Just kidding We're waiting CONTACT (Various fantasy bed locales) (The COMPANY forms two main groups. As the music begins, a group of dancers start a sensual life and death dance, while a group of actors gather around a table centerstage to speak words of passion which punctuate the dancing. Eventually, the actors converge on the table and cover themselves with a white sheet, while moving to the music) GROUP A (ROGER, MARK, JOANNE, BENNY) Hot-hot-hot-sweat-sweet Wet-wet-wet-red-heat Hot-hot-hot-sweat-sweet Wet-wet-wet-red-heat Please don't stop please Please don't stop stop Stop stop stop don't Please please please please Hot-hot-hot-sweat-sweet Wet-wet-wet-red-heat Sticky-licky-trickle-tickle Steamy-creamy-stroking-soaking GROUP B (MIMI, COLLINS, MAUREEN, ANGEL) Hot-hot-hot-sweat-sweet Wet-wet-wet-red-heat COLLINS Touch MAUREEN Taste MIMI Deep COLLINS Dark MAUREEN Kiss COLLINS Beg MIMI Slap MIMI, MAUREEN & COLLINS Fear COLLINS Thick COLLINS, MIMI & MAUREEN Red, red Red, red Red, red please MAUREEN Harder ANGEL Faster MAUREEN Wetter MIMI Bastard COLLINS You whore MAUREEN You cannibal MIMI & ANGEL More MAUREEN You animal MAUREEN, COLLINS & MIMI Fluid no fluid no contact yes No contact ALL Fire fire burn-burn yes No latex rubber rubber Fire latex rubber latex bummer Lover bummer (The music explodes into a fevered rhythmic heat as ANGEL is revealed in a lone spotlight, dancing wildly) ANGEL Take me Take me Today for you Tomorrow for me Today me Tomorrow you Tomorrow you Love you Love you I love You I love You! Take me Take me I love you (The music dies as ANGEL vanishes) ROGER'S VOICE Um JOANNE'S VOICE Wait MIMI'S VOICE Slipped COLLINS' VOICE Shit JOANNE'S VOICE Ow ROGER'S VOICE Where'd it go? MIMI'S VOICE Safe COLLINS' VOICE Damn MAUREEN'S VOICE I think I missed Don't get pissed ALL It was bad for me - was it bad for you? JOANNE It's over MAUREEN It's over ROGER It's over MIMI It's over COLLINS It's over I'LL COVER YOU (REPRISE) (In a church - Angel's memorial) MIMI Angel was one of my closest friends. It's right that it's Halloween, because it was her favorite holiday. I knew we'd hit it off from the moment we met. That skin head was bothering her, and she said she was more of a man than he'd ever be, and more of a woman than he'd ever get MARK and then there was that time that he walked up to this group of tourists and, they were petrified, because, a) they were obviously lost, and b) they had probably never spoken to a drag queen before in their lives...and he...she just offered to escort them out of Alphabet City, and then she let them take a picture with her, and then she said she'd help 'em find the Circle Line MAUREEN so much more original then any of us...you'd find an old table cloth on the street and make a dress...and next year, sure enough - they'd be mass producing them at the Gap. You always said how lucky you were that we were all friends. But it was us, baby, who were the lucky ones COLLINS Live in my house I'll be your shelter Just pay me back With one thousand kisses Be my lover And I'll cover you Open your door I'll be your tenant Don't got much baggage to lay at your feet But sweet kisses I've got to spare I'll be there I'll cover you I think they meant it When they said you can't buy love Now I know you can rent it A new lease you were, my love, on life All my life I've longed to discover Something as true As this is (The following is sung simultaneously.) JOANNE & SOLOIST So with a thousand sweet kisses I'll cover you with a thousand sweet kisses I'll cover you with a thousand sweet kisses I'll cover you with a thousand sweet kisses I'll cover you COLLINS If you're cold and you're lonely You've got one nickel only When you're worn out and tired When your heart has expired COMPANY Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred moments so dear Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred measure a year Oh lover I'll cover you Oh lover I'll cover you COLLINS & COMPANY Oh lover I'll cover you Oh lover COLLINS I'll cover you COMPANY Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes Five hundred twenty-five thousand seasons of love COLLINS I'll cover you HALLOWEEN (Outside the church) MARK (On the pay phone) Hi. It's Mark Cohen. Is Alexi there?...No, don't bother her. Just tell her I'm running a little late for our appointment...Yes, I'm still coming... Yes, I signed the contract... Thanks How did we get here? How the hell Pan left - close on the steeple of the church How did I get here? How the hell... Christmas Christmas Eve last year How could a night so frozen be so scalding hot? How can a morning this mild be so raw? Why are entire years strewn On the cutting room floor of memory When single frames from one magic night Forever flicker in close-up On the 3D Imax of my mind That's poetic That's pathetic Why did Mimi knock on Roger's door And Collins choose that phone booth Back where Angel set up his drums Why did Maureen's equipment break down Why am I the witness And when I capture it on film Will it mean that it's the end And I'm alone GOODBYE LOVE (The PRINCIPALS emerge from the church) MIMI (to ROGER) It's true you sold your guitar and bought a car? ROGER It's true- I'm leaving now for Santa Fe It's true you're with this yuppie scum? BENNY You said you'd never speak to him again MIMI Not now MAUREEN Who said that you have any say In who she says things to at all? ROGER Yeah JOANNE Who said that you should Stick your nose in other people's MAUREEN Who said I was talking to you? JOANNE We used to have this fight each night MARK Calm down JOANNE She'd never admit I existed MARK Everyone please! MIMI He was the same way he was always "Run away hit the road Don't commit" you're full of shit JOANNE She's in denial MIMI He's in denial JOANNE Didn't give an inch When I gave a mile MARK Come on MIMI I gave a mile ROGER Gave a mile to who? MARK & BENNY Come on guys chill MIMI & JOANNE I'd be happy to die for a taste of what Angel had Someone to live for unafraid to say I love you ROGER All your words are nice Mimi But love's not a three way street You'll never share real love Until you love yourself I should know COLLINS You all said you'd be cool today So please for my sake I can't believe he's gone (to ROGER) I can't believe you're going I can't believe this family must die Angel helped us believe in love I can't believe you disagree ALL I can't believe this is goodbye (MAUREEN and JOANNE look at each other) MAUREEN Pookie JOANNE Honeybear (They embrace) JOANNE I missed you MAUREEN I missed your smell JOANNE I missed your mouth...Your (They kiss, but MAUREEN pulls away) MAUREEN Ow JOANNE What? MAUREEN Nothing, Pookie JOANNE No, baby, you said ow...What? MAUREEN Well, you bit my tongue JOANNE No, I didn't MAUREEN You did I'm bleeding JOANNE No, it isn't MAUREEN I think I should know JOANNE Let me see MAUREEN She doesn't believe me! JOANNE I was only trying to (They laugh, hug, and wave goodbye, exiting stage right. The PASTOR from the church emerges on the above) PASTOR Thomas B. Collins COLLINS Coming (The PASTOR exits above and COLLINS exits into the church. BENNY stands off to the side as MIMI approaches ROGER, who turns away. She hesitates before leaving with BENNY. ROGER and MARK are left alone) MARK I hear there are great restaurants out west ROGER Some of the best. How could she? MARK How could you let her go? ROGER You just don't know How could we lose Angel? MARK Maybe you'll see why when you stop escaping your pain At least now if you try- Angel's death won't be in vain ROGER His death is in vain (MIMI reappears up left, in the shadows. She overhears ROGER and MARK's conversation) MARK Are you insane? There so much to care about There's me- there's Mimi ROGER Mimi's got her baggage, too MARK So do you ROGER Who are you to tell me what I know, what to do MARK A friend ROGER But who, Mark, are you? "Mark has got his work" They say "Mark lives for his work" And "Mark's in love with his work" Mark hides in his work MARK But from what? ROGER From facing your failure, facing your loneliness Facing the fact you live a lie Yes, you live a lie tell you why You're always preaching not to be numb When that's how you thrive You pretend to create and observe When you really detach from feeling alive MARK Perhaps it's because I'm the one of us to survive ROGER Poor baby MARK Mimi still loves Roger Is Roger really jealous Or afraid that Mimi's weak ROGER Mimi did look pale MARK Mimi's gotten thin Mimi's running out of time Roger's running out the door ROGER No more! Oh no I've gotta go MARK Hey, for somebody who's always been let down Who's heading out of town? ROGER For someone who longs for a community of his own, Who's with his camera, alone? (ROGER takes a step to go, then stops, turns) I'll call I hate the fall (ROGER turns to go and sees MIMI) You heard? MIMI Every word You don't want baggage without lifetime guarantees You don't want to watch me die I just came to say Goodbye, love Goodbye, love Came to say goodbye, love, goodbye Just came to say Goodbye love Goodbye love Goodbye love Goodbye ROGER Glory One blaze of Glory Have to find (ROGER exits. BENNY returns. MIMI steps away) MIMI Please don't touch me Understand I'm scared I need to go away MARK I know a place a clinic BENNY A rehab? MIMI Maybe could you? BENNY I'll pay MIMI Goodbye love Goodbye love Came to say goodbye, love, goodbye Just came to say Goodbye love Goodbye love Goodbye love Hello disease (MIMI runs away. After a moment, COLLINS quickly enters, with the PASTOR trailing behind him) PASTOR Off the premises now, we give no handouts here MARK What happened to Rest In Peace? PASTOR Off the premises, queer COLLINS That's no way to send a boy to meet his maker They had to know we couldn't pay the undertaker BENNY (To COLLINS) Don't you worry 'bout him (To PASTOR) Hey, I'll take care of it (The PASTOR acknowledges BENNY and exits) MARK Must be nice to have money ALL THREE No shit COLLINS I think it's only fair to tell you, you just paid for the funeral of the person who killed your dog BENNY I know... I always hated that dog Let's pay him off, and then get drunk MARK I can't... I have a meeting BENNY & COLLINS Punk! Let's go (COLLINS and BENNY exit) MARK (imagining) Hi. Mark Cohen here, reporting for Buzzline. Back to you, Alexi! Coming up next, vampire welfare queens who are compulsive bowlers... Oh my God, what am I doing? WHAT YOU OWN MARK Don't breathe too deep Don't think all day Dive into work Drive the other way That drip of hurt That pint of shame Goes away Just play the game You're living in America At the end of the millennium You're living in America Leave your conscience at the tone And when you're living in America At the end of the millennium You're what you own (Lights up on ROGER) ROGER The filmmaker cannot see MARK And the songwriter cannot hear ROGER Yet I see Mimi everywhere MARK Angel's voice is in my ear ROGER Just tighten those shoulders MARK Just clench your jaw till you frown ROGER Just don't let go BOTH Or you may drown You're living in America At the end of the millennium You're living in America Where it's like the Twilight Zone And when you're living in America At the end of the millennium You're what you own So I own not a notion I escape and ape content I don't own emotion - I rent MARK What was it about that night ROGER What was it about that night BOTH Connection- in an isolating age MARK For once the shadows gave way to light ROGER For once the shadows gave way to light BOTH For once I didn't disengage (MARK goes to the pay phone and dials) MARK Angel I hear you I hear it I see it I see it My film! ROGER Mimi I see you I see it I hear it- I hear it My song MARK (on the phone) Alexi--Mark Call me a hypocrite I need to finish my own film I quit ROGER One song glory Mimi Your eyes BOTH Dying in America At the end of the millennium We're dying in America To come into our own And when you're dying in America At the end of the millennium You're not alone I'm not alone I'm not alone (Blackout) VOICE MAIL #5 (Various locations) (In blackout, once again the phone rings) ROGER & MARK'S ANSWERING MACHINE "Speak..." (Beep) ROGER'S MOTHER Roger, this is your mother Roger, honey, I don't get these postcards "Moving to Santa Fe" "Back in New York Starting a rock band" Roger, where are you? --Please call (The following is sung simultaneously) MIMI'S MOTHER Mimi, chica, donde estas? Tu mama esta llamando Donde estas Mimi - - Call MR. JEFFERSON Kitten wherever are you - Call MRS. COHEN Mark - are you there - are you there I don't know if he's there We're all here wishing you were here too Where are you Mark are you there are you where are you Mark - are you there - are you there I don't know if - Please call your mother FINALE (The lot and the loft) ALL SEVEN HOMELESS Christmas bells are ringing Christmas bells are ringing Christmas bells are ringing How time flies When compassion dies No stockings No candy canes No gingerbread No safety net No loose change No change no ONE HOMELESS MAN "Santy Claus is coming" ALL Cause Santy Claus ain't coming No room at the Holiday Inn again Well, maybe next year Or -- when (Lights shift back to the loft. A small prjector rests on a milk crate, which is on a dolly) MARK December 24th, ten p.m. Eastern standard time I can't believe a year went by so fast Time to see what we have time to see Turn the projector on (A rough title credit, "Today 4 U: Proof Positive," appears, followed by a shot from last Christmas of ROGER tuning his guitar) First shot Roger With the fender guitar he just got out of hock When he sold the car That took him away and back ROGER I found my song MARK He found his song If he could just find Mimi ROGER I tried - you know I tried (MARK's image appears on-screen) MARK Fade in on Mark Who's still in the dark ROGER But he's got great footage MARK Which he's cut together ROGER To screen tonight (BENNY's image appears on screen) MARK In honor of Benny's wife ROGER Muffy MARK Alison Pulling Benny out of the East Village location (The projector blows a fuse. Blackout) ROGER Then again, maybe we won't screen it tonight MARK I wonder how Alison found out about Mimi? ROGER Maybe a little bird told her (COLLINS enters in the dark, with several twenty-dollar bills in each hand) COLLINS Or an angel (Lights fade up) I had a little hunch that you could use a little flow ROGER Tutoring again? COLLINS Negative MARK Back at N.Y.U.? COLLINS No, no, no I rewired the ATM at the food emporium To provide an honorarium to anyone with the code ROGER & MARK The code Well...? COLLINS A-N-G-E-L Yet Robin Hooding isn't the solution The powers that be must be undermined where they dwell In a small, exclusive gourmet institution Where we overcharge the wealthy clientele ALL THREE Let's open up a restaurant in Santa Fe With a private corner banquette in the back COLLINS We'll make it yet, we'll somehow get to Santa Fe ROGER But you'd miss New York before you could unpack ALL Ohh (MAUREEN and JOANNE enter, carrying MIMI) MAUREEN Mark! Roger! Anyone - help! MARK Maureen? MAUREEN It's Mimi - I can't get her up the stairs ROGER No (They enter the loft) MAUREEN She was huddled in the park in the dark And she was freezing And begged to come here ROGER Over here Oh, God (They lay her down carefully on the table) MIMI Got a light - I know you - you're shivering JOANNE She's been living on the street ROGER We need some heat MIMI I'm shivering MARK We can buy some wood and something to eat COLLINS I'm afraid she needs more than heat MIMI I heard that MAUREEN Collins will call for a doctor, honey MIMI Don't waste your money on Mimi, me, me COLLINS Hello 911? I'm on hold MIMI Cold...cold... would you light my candle? ROGER Yes we'll oh God - find a candle MIMI I should tell you I should tell you ROGER I should tell you I should tell you MIMI I should tell you Benny wasn't any ROGER Shhh--I know I should tell you why I left It wasn't cause I didn't MIMI I know I should tell you ROGER I should tell you MIMI (whispering) I should tell you I love you (MIMI fades) ROGER Who do you think you are? Leaving me alone with my guitar Hold on there's something you should hear It isn't much but it took all year (MIMI stirs and ROGER begins playing acoustic guitar at her bedside) YOUR EYES ROGER Your eyes As we said our goodbyes Can't get them out of my mind And I find I can't hide From your eyes The ones that took me by surprise The night you came into my life Where there's moonlight I see your eyes (Band takes over) How'd I let you slip away When I'm longing so to hold you Now I'd die for one more day 'Cause there's something I should have told you Yes there's something I should have told you When I looked into your eyes Why does distance make us wise? You were the song all along And before this song dies I should tell you I should tell you I have always loved you You can see it in my eyes (We hear Musetta's Theme, played correctly and passionately. MIMI's head falls to the side and her arm drops limply off the edge of the table) Mimi! FINALE B (Suddenly, MIMI's hand twitches. Incredibly, she is still alive) MIMI I jumped over the moon ROGER What? MIMI A leap of moooooooooooo JOANNE She's back MIMI I was in a tunnel. Heading for this warm, white light MAUREEN Oh my god MIMI And I swear Angel was there and she looked GOOD! And she said, "Turn around, girlfriend, and listen to that boy's song" COLLINS She's drenched MAUREEN Her fever's breaking MARK There is no future there is no past ROGER Thank God this moment's not the last MIMI & ROGER There's only us There's only this Forget regret or life is yours to miss ALL No other road no other way No day but today (As the finale grows, the entire COMPANY makes its way on stage) WOMEN I can't control My destiny I trust my soul My only goal is just to be MEN Will I lose my dignity? Will someone care? Will I wake tomorrow From this nightmare? (MARK's film resumes, along with two more films projecting on the back wall, "Scenes from RENT...") WOMEN Without you The hand gropes The ear hears The pulse beats Life goes on But I'm gone 'Cause I die Without you I die without you I die without you I die without you MEN There's only now There's only here Give in to love Or live in fear No other path No other way No day but today No day but today No day but today No day but today ALL No day but today THE END